I hate it when you fall ill... I feel so useless and helpless. I can't even call you to see how you are so I feel restless. You don't know how much I wish I had the chance to look after you.

You know those early days.. when I used to fancy you so much.. the days I hated when you come near me to log me in to the computer... I used to imagine myself in you wife's shoes. I thought she is the luckiest woman on earth... I thought how wonderful it would be to look after you and your kids.. cook your favourite meal.. get your shirts ironed and ready for the next day.. keep the house nice and tidy and tell you off when you make mess... have dinner parties for all our friends.. tell your kids what a wonderful person their dad is... sit and watch your movie with them and explain to them every bit of it.... and then my friend at your work place would say "look she is smiling to herself again sitting behind the PC.." and I'd wake up... and feel so silly for even imagining something like that. I thought I wont even cross your radars.. because of my size (0)... if not for anything.

I really hope you are relaxing at home. I am so worried too... I really hope I get to hear from you tomorrow...

xxx